The days after my miscarriage had been confirmed, I felt empty, numb, angry, heartbroken and confused… I went through the motions of walking and showering without even knowing what I was doing. I couldn’t make decisions, I could barely eat. You see, it was Mother’s Day..
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Two days after finding out I was expecting our first child after 15 months of infertility, my husband and I excitedly toured Target looking at baby things as I carried the sweetest little stuffed dog in my arms. It was baby’s first gift from us and I couldn’t wait to get it home. Earlier that morning I had stopped at the urgent care clinic beneath my ob/gyn’s office for a second round of HCG level bloodwork.
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God however, had another plan. He began using two co-workers I had at the time to really convince me that children were a blessing and I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to be a parent. My heart began to soften. I began feeling like we had a good foundation. We had a strong marriage, good jobs, we bought a house and had a wonderful support system in our parents and family. I finally began feeling ready.
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Early in April, we decided that was going to be the end of fertility medicine and began talking about adoption. At the end of the month, at what I felt was perfect timing, we were delighted and a little shocked to find out I was finally expecting. I surprised my husband with a special gift one evening to break the news and we excitedly made plans to tell our families.
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